Tivo Killed Family TV Night

Growing up, family TV nights for me were a treat. I have vivid memories of my brother, mom, dad and I sitting together to watch our favorite shows at their scheduled times. Monday Night Football with Dandy Don Meredith and Howard Cosell. Sunday night Disney movies. Bob Newhart and Mary Tyler Moore. The Bionic Man and Kung Fu.
As a kid, I could recite TV schedules for our favorite shows better than a church-going friend of mine could recite Bible verses. I devoured every copy of TV Guide, and loved doing the crossword in the back. (Gilligan Vixen, 6 letters...)
Now that I'm a single parent raising a teen daughter, you'd think I'd have fond memories of my present day family watching our favorite TV shows together.
You'd be wrong. For us, Tivo killed family TV night.

For instance, my daughter and I all love Survivor. Without Tivo, we'd cozily sit on the couch together every Thursday night at 8pm and watch the show.
With Tivo? We schedule the entire season with the click of a button, then watch when it's individually convenient. Oh sure, sometimes we're all able to sit together and take in the recorded version of the show. But more times than not, my daughter is studying for a Bio exam, or I'm scratching out a blog post so I'm not up until midnight.
We both take our turn with the remote and watch Survivor when it separately suits us.
Before Tivo, if my daughter was channel surfing and came across a program I'd enjoy - perhaps a Food Network show featuring the best Mai Tai recipe, best hamburger recipe, or a new grilled chicken marinade recipe - she would yell for me to run in and watch with her. Now? She clicks record, and moves on to Gray's Anatomy, House, or something about the Jon and Kate divorce.
I will say one good thing for Tivo - it allows me to tape the Craig Ferguson show. He's that "Scottish Conan" guy on CBS late (late!) night. Way too late for me to stay up watching. I Tivo Craig Ferguson, and watch when it suits me.
For the uninitiated, Craig Ferguson is laugh out loud funny. Edgy, too. Not quite like David Letterman's jokes about Sarah Palin's daughter. Ferguson is more suggestive in a high school humor sort of way.                                                                                      
And you know what? My teen thinks Craig Ferguson is super funny, too! She actually sits on the couch and watch recorded episodes with me. Picture the two of us, cozied up on the couch, laughing our asses off to Craig Ferguson.
Who knew Tivo could bring a familiy together like that?
(Can I get a rim shot from the drummer?)

Raising Girls is Easy

I grew up in a house full of boys, so when my daughter was born, I had no idea what it would be like raising a girl. Let me say for the record - it's been easy. Far easier than raising a son.

Boys are a terror. I know this from the grief my brother and I gave to my dear mom. We broke things like crazy. Windows. Toys. Each other. (No broken bones, but plenty of stitches.) We ran around the house like wild animals, yelling and screaming. We wrestled until there were tears. We aimed slingshots and bee-bee guns at each other, sometimes even firing. (Like a Jon and Kate divorce proceeding. Ha!)

Where was brother protective services when we needed it?

My daughter has been a piece of cake. She does her homework, keeps a tidy room, never talks back. Oh sure, she could help more often around the house. But she's so sweet, and so good at keeping her nose clean, I kind of don't care. She's eighteen, and far from a loose girl, she's more focused on finishing college than getting pregnant. So there are no early-grandpa fears for me! (Watch, she has a drawer full of sex toys I don't know about. Doh!)

It's not just home life, though. Sports teams have been way easier with her. Granted, girls can be catty at times, but they'd rather get along than not. Plus, the coaches early on were usually moms, as opposed to manic Little League dads. As a result, my daughter's teams had way better parental camaraderie (i.e. parties!) I love watching my daughter do her sports.

So, next time someone tells me what a headache their daughter has been, I will knock on wood and say a little thank you that my daughter has been so easy.

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Dominos Pizza College Entrance Exam

My teen daughter was recently sleeping over with a group of girl friends. She texted me just before midnight:
what’s the ph # of our fav pizza place?
My daughter and I love a local pizzeria. It’s not a chain like Pizza Hut or Dominos Pizza. The pizzas at this local place are awesome. I texted her the phone number, but added that I didn’t think they’d be open so late.
She texted back: who is open then?
Dominos Pizza, of course! I’m pretty sure our local Dominos stays open until after most bars closed. Dominos Pizza understands that people get the munchies late, and don’t necessarily want Taco Bell every single time. I remember calling Dominos Pizza at 2am, falling asleep (ok, passing out) on the living room floor with my apartment mates – only to be woken up at 2:30am, when the delivery guy brought our pizza. (If it’s not there in 30 minutes, it’s free! – was the motto of our local Dominos Pizza franchise.)       
Of course, those are memories of mine. My daughter is still in collage. Maybe this was her first late-night pizza run.
I texted her: Dominos!
She texted me back: what’s their #?
WTF!? She and her girl friends can’t look that up? How hard is it to do an iPhone web search? Or google something on the computer?
I texted her back the number, and asked: don’t you have internet?
My daughter didn’t text back until morning. (Rest assured, they got their pizza just fine.)
Kids these days. Can’t even order a Dominos Pizza without parental help.
Clearly, my daughter is not ready for college.
(Haha – don’t worry, she knows I’m teasing)

Grey's Anatomy – Okay for a Teen?

My teen daughter’s favorite TV show is Grey’s Anatomy. I’ve never seen it, but I didn’t have a problem with that. After all, her mom watches the show. Her friends at school watch the show. Female friends of mine watch the show. It’s a show for women.

When my daughter asked if she could turn the Tivo from the History Channel to her Grey’s Anatomy show, I initially said no. As a single parent rasing a daughter, I don’t get to watch a ton of TV. But then I realized I could have some father daughter time by watching Grey’s Anatomy with my teen daughter.

I swear, before the opening credits even rolled, three couples had sex, including a one-night-stand hookup, and a couple who were only together for the sex. WTF?

Is this what teens are watching on TV? Don’t get me wrong, I realize TV shows push the envelope way more than when I was a kid. And from rebound sex coffee dates to sexy and funny wine country dates to seeking casual sex at a convention, I'm certainly no prude. But what happened to dramatizing meaningful relationships?

In Grey's Anatomy:
There was one woman annoyed that the guy she picked up in a bar and slept with wanted to actually date.
There was one woman annoyed that her boyfriend who she only wanted for sex gave her a key to his place.
There was a couple who had unfulfilling sex, and wondered why they were still together. (Okay, that last one is like a real relationship)
There was a doctor and nurse who started spooning right there in the hospital on an empty bed. (Actually, they were doing a little more than spooning...)
I know that some people these days avoid relationships, just like the doctors in this Grey’s Anatomy episode. They fear that being part of a partnership will screw up their future, or something like that. A great book that discusses this phenomenon is Unhooked, by Laura Sessions Stepp (discussed in this blog post about hooking up.)

Is it good for my daughter to be watching a show where casual sex is so... casual?

I just hope she realizes it’s okay to date and fall in love. You don’t have to sleep with strangers all your life. (And for anyone who thinks I’m setting a double standard – please know that I don’t blog about relationships while I’m in them. Perhaps I’m not presently in the long term relationship I’d like to be in, but my real life is healthier than my blogging hookups reveal.)

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My Daughter’s First Screaming Orgasm

My teen daughter had her first screaming orgasm today and she told me all about it. Yeah, we have a good father-daughter relationship like that. Of course, she’s eighteen, so she can make her own choices and live her life as she likes. But it still surprised me how this first time experience unfolded.


She went to Jamba Juice where a teen boy was working the register.

“Can I help you?” he asked.
“I’d like a screaming orgasm,” my daughter said.
The boy flushed with embarrassment. “I don’t know what that is,” he admitted.

Okay, I was a teen boy once, and I worked a food service industry job (Carl's Jr.!) I had some crazy requests in my day, but never did a good looking girl come ask me for a screaming orgasm, or any other “make my day” request.

“Let me get the manager,” the boy said.
My daughter grinned.



The manager was a woman in her twenties. “You want a screaming orgasm?” she asked.
“Yes!” my daughter said.
“I can help you with that.”

Gotta love when women connect.

The manager went to work, combining just the right ingredients, putting it all together to give my daughter the pleasurable thing she wanted.

“Now I know what to give you when you ask for it again,” the boy said.
True that! But will my daughter give him another chance?

btw – the Screaming Orgasm (aka the Dirty Orgasm) is a drink on Jamba Juice’s “secret” menu. Apparently, it’s some sort of Peach Pleasure, minus the banana. Which if you think about it, seems totally wrong. But I digress…

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A Father's Nightmare

A little over a year ago, my daughter (17 at the time) started dating a boy who lives a few blocks away. We spent that year carpooling with him and having him over for special occasions, doing what any good parent would do…letting him into our lives and supporting my daughter.

As I got to know him, I began to really like him. I realized just how much my daughter had fallen for him and it seemed to be a mutual feeling between them.


After they had been dating for around ten months and I knew that this relationship was not the typical high school fling.


NOW…

Breana confided in me what was going on and since that point I have been ultra sensitive on picking up on this behavior…that he hides quite well.


I have found that he was completely controlling of her. He had listed off to her the people that she is allowed to be friends with…and those that she can’t. She HAD to give him ALL of her passwords (email, cell phone, Facebook, myspace, …everything.) If she had changed her password and didn't tell him immediately, he freak the fuck out.


Very early in their relationship, she kind of flirted with an ex-boyfriend (after X had told her that she was never to communicate with any of her exs) and since that point he’s been untrusting and overboard controlling.


Now, when I talk with her about it she says that she screwed it up and that she had to do this so that he would trust her again.


FUCK THAT!!!


Now I have seen the hoops that she jumps through for him and now I am seeing that he gets in her face and that there is cussing and threats that fly around.


This is where I feel the need to hobble the fucker. I will not sit back and watch as he pushes her down …to a point where she believes that she deserves to be treated like a possession. BUT…she is 18 and she has not been ‘digesting’ the talks that I’ve had with her about the progression from controlling to abusive.


Do I step in and put him in his place…telling him that I know what is going on and I will not stand for it? (she would hate me for a long time…but maybe would not be ruined by X)

Do I continue to sit down with her and try to MAKE her understand what is happening?

Do I disable the phone and internet …so that she has no passwords to give him?


He freaked out on her the other day because she wore a sweater to school that she got from a boy FRIEND about 5 years ago.


I don’t know what to do


It seems like if I do what it takes to protect her…she’ll hate me.

If I talk to her and comfort her…I may not be doing my job as a father.


PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!

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Denial

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?.

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Mr. Misery

You wake up but not really. In the bedroom you grew up in. It's the only place on this entire planet that is yours. The only place on the planet that understands you. It understands the way your nerves flare everytime you think about talking to anyone, scared into shyness at the thought of opening your mouth but the way you are the best hypocrite around when you're in front of a microphone. It knows what turns that switch on and off and on again. It understands the way when you don't have a smile on your face everyone only spits: 'what's wrong's and 'you look tired's. So the way you keep it on your face just wide enough to avoid questions. It understands how neurotic you have become, the way you treat your flaws like old friends. The way you look in the mirror and think of yourself as 'Mr. Misery'.

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Struggle for the System

I want to be healthy. I want to live as long as I can. I want to be complication free. I want to not have diabetes.

3 of those 4 statements above I can actually do something about. I can watch what I eat, exercise, and check my blood sugar all the time. I cannot cure myself but if I can take care of the other three then I would be doing pretty good in my book.

Here is the problem. Checking my blood sugar 8-10 times a day only gives me snapshots of what my blood sugar is doing at the moment. If my blood sugar is 130 now, what is 80 an hour ago or 300? Having that kind of knowledge would eliminate many hypoglycemic episodes and hyper ones too.

We can all agree that keeping my BG in control is the best thing I can do for my d-life. The more in control I am, the better my chances to stay complication free. That should be the goal for all people with diabetes. My question is, what do our insurance companies think our goal should be? To not spend a lot of money? Should our goal be to lose our eyesight and let them replace our kidneys if need be?

Continuous Glucose monitoring systems are a reality now. Sure it is not entirely accurate but it does show trends and that information is something we have NEVER had. Knowing where I was and where I am going is important and allows me to be proactive and not reactive.

But that makes me wonder what insurance companies expect from us. Would they rather react when we have a major complication or be proactive in doing all they can to avoid it?

I, along with many others, have been denied by insurance to cover CGMS(Continuous Glucose Monitoring Systems). I will continue to fight for my right to know what is going on in my body. Hopefully if all of our voices are heard we can get the insurance companies to understand and to cover it for us.

Have you tried to get CGMS covered by your insurance? Did it work?

Love

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.

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Change

Everything in life is connected somehow. You may have to dig deep to find it but its there. Everything is the same even though its different. Somehow everything connects back with your life. The faces in certain places may be different, but the situation is the same. Irony is a hidden factor that creeps around us in life, letting its presence felt only after it has left. Picture back to a year ago and the situation you were in. Look at how things are different yet somehow everything it still in someway cognate. Everything connects together to form the balance of life, to maintain structure. Change is and always will be inevitable, but everything is relative, and all the moments and times in your life will come back around again, you just might find yourself on the other side of the coin. Things are always changing, as fast as everything stays the same.

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