GODSMACK! cover of Joe Walsh’s “Rocky Mountain Way” ~Brooke C Drums~

White Zombie “Super Charger Heaven” Drum Cover~Brooke C

What Joseph of Nazareth can teach us about being a man

The infancy narrative, the birth of Jesus Christ, is one of the most widely known and beloved historic accounts in all of human history. In the days to come, countless children will perform its reenactment and clergy will reaffirm its significance the world over. While their place in our story of redemption can’t be overstated, another importance of the holy family as they are referred, Jesus, his mother Mary and earthly father Joseph is their embodiment of what we should all aim for in our relationships, our faith, and ourselves. The nativity is one of human courage, unwavering faith, and sacrificial love; and though the record naturally centers on Jesus and his mother Mary, Joseph occupies an important albeit secondary role.

"Joseph could very well be the first man in history who refused to allow ‘blood’ to keep him from being a daddy."

We are introduced to Joseph in the books of Matthew and Luke within the canonical gospels. Eastern Orthodox tradition holds that Joseph was a widower of middle age with several children under his care when he meets and agrees to betroth the much younger Mary. It’s in preparation for the upcoming nuptials that we enter their story.

As I think on the nativity I can’t help but to reflect on Joseph and the role he played in the birth of Jesus and particularly what the story of his life reveals to all those who read it today, especially of men. It’s through the eyes of a man that I’m led to the belief that Joseph has much to still teach about us manhood some two thousand years later.

Joseph was man of character – it’s difficult to debate the strong moral fiber of Joseph. For starters, if in fact Joseph was a widower, he was so with four or more children in tow and just as many reasons to pawn those children off on others for their care and protection. Yet he upheld his fatherly obligation and searched for a suitable and required replacement for his deceased wife never forgetting the responsibility he bore as their father. Second, upon hearing of Mary’s pregnancy during their betrothal ‘he decided not to put shame upon her and resolved to divorce her quietly’ when Jewish law called for an adulteress to be stoned. We would do well to remember Joseph’s integrity when we desire to walk out on our children, sacrifice our family for the gleam of the corporate latter, or demoralize and humiliate our wives for a good laugh.

Joseph was a man of courage and sacrifice – Contrary to popular perceptions, first century Jerusalem was not a land of peace and plenty as the yearly Christmas play might otherwise portray. At the time of Jesus’s birth the Jewish nation was under the yoke of a Roman Empire and Judea was under the heel of King Herod the Great, a madman drunk with power and willing to do whatever to maintain it including the murder of his own family. It was a dangerous and unstable time for any Jew and especially that of a meager carpenter, his children, and a pregnant bride. When the king heard of the potential coming of the prophesied Messiah, Herod decreed that all boys in the town of Bethlehem under the age of two be summarily executed in the hopes of stifling any future usurper. When revealed in a dream of what was to come Joseph packed his family including a newborn son and made the 200 plus mile trip to Egypt and relative safety only to make the trip back several years later upon Herod’s death. In a world of convenience on demand it’s easy to grow agitated with the needs of our children and the sacrifices we are asked to make for their behalf. Joseph’s courage and surrender should be a constant reminder that all fathers are called first and foremost to protect and serve their families.

Joseph was a man of acceptance – It is vitally important that we realize this fact. Joseph underwent the certain shame of marrying a recognized adulterer, dodged the wrath of a blood thirsty ruler, and navigated the perilous journey across a lifeless desert all for a son that was never truly his. This is a detail which can’t be emphasized enough. He did what the Jewish community said he wasn’t required to do. Joseph could very well be the first man in history who refused to allow ‘blood’ to keep him from being a daddy. He fathered his step-son in much the same way any first century father would his own legitimate male child, as evidenced by a name Jesus was often referred by, the Carpenter from Galilee.

It’s interesting to note that the only knowledge we have of Joseph is contained within a few versus of the New Testament, yet his name has lived on for over twenty centuries. It’s arguable that he is the greatest father that ever lived, who else would willing to accept the pressure of raising the Savior of the world and God incarnate? Maybe that’s why Joseph is not just a saint, but the Patron Saint of Fathers.

BALLERINA SHOES!- SHOE UNBOXING

Plant

Untitled, a photo by benjamin_valadez on Flickr.

My mom gave this plant and it was dead, with a little love and care look at it now. My dad says I inherited my grandfathers green thumb. I have to agree, just like my grandpa I enjoy gardening.

Persistent Rumblings

Lately I've been in a bit of a creative funk. I suspect this largely stems from my current love/hate relationship with my career. Some days I love what I do. Other days, I loathe it. Yes, yes, I'm blessed to have a job at all given the tight economy. And I don't mean to sound ungrateful as I appreciate all the opportunities that having a job has afforded me -- you know, stuff like dinners out, winter and summer vacations, swimming classes for the kiddo, cooking classes for me and other such experiences that having a decent-paying career has allowed me to have. I'm fortunate. I know.

But what happens when you crave the pursuit of other creative interests but long hours at the work prevent you from exploring them? Should you contain the persistent rumblings of entrepreneurial hunger all for the sake of practicality (hello, mortgage, car payment and freaking collage tuition!)? And what do you do when the passion that was once reserved for your career has now been slowly and inadvertently re-directed toward other avenues??? Sigh...
I remember the day when I first learned the meaning of "Carpe Diem". It was in an English class during a discussion of "The Catcher in the Rye" that Mrs Farmer talked to us about the importance of seizing the day. While I appreciated the discussion, I remember thinking to myself, "Duh, how hard is it to seize the day? Just know what you want and go for it!" I was 16-years-old... Young, naive, full of optimism and ideals... free of any real responsibility aside from fulfilling my potential. I was filled with an unending supply of unbridled energy, all of which went towards knowing what I wanted and going for it. It was all so... spectacular and full of promise.

Looking back, I think I could probably learn a thing a two from that kid.

Random Thoughts; Not Well Thought Through.

Don't, as I found myself in a dream last night, find yourself in a circa 1970 Vietnamese village with only five rounds remaining in your M16 rifle. Especially if the village looks like Redlands. (Warning: the VC are forming up at the donut shop on the boulevard.)

Meredith Baxter is a lesbian? Damn! I've had a crush on her for 31 years. I couldn't be more surprised if Rosie O'Donnell came out and said she was straight.

Turkey isn't just for Thanksgiving anymore. Turkey purchased at a cut-rate price after Thanksgiving tastes even better, and the leftovers can stretch on for nearly a week. Yummy.

If so many Jews have had huge success recording Christmas albums (Neil Diamond? OMG...) why isn't there a market for Christians singing songs for Hanukkah? Is there a message there someplace? And, by the way, when is Michael Jackson's lost Kuanzaa album due out?

I've obviously lived a sheltered life. Apparently everybody but me knows that Ambien is a sexual stimulant. This has come to light thanks to Tiger Woods' short drive into a tree. Maybe they ought to rebrand it as "Escalade" in honor of Tiger's damaged Cadillac. Seems like a great name for a product of that nature.

Sophia Loren is 78. Seventy-eight years old? No freaking way!

Look right here! One wish for my daughter.

God is not without a sense of humor – or he has a firm grasp of irony. For the early part of my adult life I had no desire for children. Not because I was egotistical and wished to remain the center of my world; the thought of parental responsibility scared me senseless. I had convinced myself all children grow up to be degenerates where boys skip school and get into fights while girls sneak hoochie clothes in their book bags and slip out of the house after everyone has gone to sleep. I just knew if I were to become a father I would spend the better portion of my remaining years bailing a son out of jail and babysitting a daughter’s love child.

It should be noted that most who meet me say I’m very optimistic.

While being responsible for children terrified me in general, the thought of having a girl forced me to reconsider the mythical Spartan ritual of child selection. I looked at it like this, I could always resort to beating the crap out of a boy to put him on the straight-and-narrow or send him off to some militaristic boot camp if necessary, but what options do fathers have with girls? As far as I was concerned it would have been a perfectly wonderful life if no female were ever produced from my loins – until I had one.

My first child, not planned, was none other than a beautiful long lashed angel. From the moment I laid eyes on her chalky whiteness I was absolutely in love – and my life would never be the same again. Today there are only two females with whom I have difficulty telling ‘NO’. If my daughter grasped for a moment the tightness with which I am wrapped around her decade old finger she could already have a car.

I’m convinced when a man has a daughter his outlook on life should change entirely. I once had a fondness for The Swimsuit Issue and the occasional Playboy – now I go ballistic at seeing a Cosmopolitan or Vanity Fair cover in the grocery isle that shows more of the model’s skin than a nun’s habit. I’ve also become hypersensitive to what she watches; especially shows which center too much on appearance, beauty, or exhibit the occasional ‘boyfriend’ dynamic. The Bratz are Satan’s spawn.

As her father I feel this overwhelming sense of dread as my sole responsibility to be the counter-balance to a culture that will do it’s best to tell her value and worth begins and ends with her looks. Shopping malls across America are filled with untold numbers of tween and teen girls who have already drank that Kool-Aid and my anxiety hits new levels when I consider what she has waiting for her outside the purity of her elementary school hallways.

I’ve met and dated enough women to form this conclusion. The small minority I’ve known who grew up having strong, healthy, and honorable bonds with their fathers all seem to possess a higher self worth and place their value on something contrary to the vast majority of women. Just to be clear I’m not talking about ‘daddy’s girls’. I know plenty of these types who still demand a pedestal even though daddy’s been dead for 20 years – they’re lost and spoiled. Instead I’m talking about the one whose daddy not only told her she was his princess he instilled in her how value and self worth ultimately come from something more than her reflection in a mirror.

Through his complete acceptance and guidance she was given the confidence and wisdom to successfully avoid the traps and pitfalls boys – and later men – would attempt to snare her in. From him she realized she didn’t need to seek validation from strangers in unhealthy ways because her value was in something more than mere aesthetics. He accomplished this by continually reminding her, through his deliberate words and deeds, that she simply needed to

“look right here”

Meaning anytime she was tempted to take destructive paths to gain temporary approval and ultimately experience unnecessary heartache she should keep her eyes looking square into the one man’s who would always honor and respect her for who she is. By looking to him she learned how boys and men ought to treat her and she has the confidence and self-respect to demand nothing less from them. And in so doing she possesses the strength to take a step back from the edge of disaster while everything and everyone says otherwise.

Being that type of father is an admirable albeit intimidating responsibility, the result of which can be far-reaching. I believe, for me, it’s a journey that will go far beyond the occasional daddy/daughter dance or ubiquitous ‘date night’. It will require an intentionality on my part that will often be uncomfortable. Because one thing is for certain, the opportunities for her to take detours will be many and the consequences from heading down the wrong path potentially life shattering. I believe every little girl must know she’s worthy in the eyes of a man, especially her father, and that the man values her unconditionally; and I’m convinced if the girl goes long enough without either she’ll find what she’s looking for in – or from – someone else.