My teen daughter recently told me she has a boyfriend. Hooray for her! She’s eighteen, so this is a normal and healthy part of growing up for her, and an inevitable milestone for me as her dad.
She told me a bit about him – smart, athletic, etc. (And close to her age – unlike Miley Cyrus’s boyfriend Justin Gaton, who is twenty. Doh!) I won’t go into more detail for privacy sake. I’ll just say, it sounds like my teenage daughter is making good choices.
[Ed. Note: my daughter and I discussed this post before I wrote it, and I'm not disrespecting her privacy.]
A neighborhood mom recently asked if I’d met the teen boyfriend yet. Um….no, can’t say that I have. Is that a problem? I didn’t think so. I long ago had a father daughter talk about sex and relationships with her, and we’ve had ongoing conversations since. But this mom was concerned that I should be more clued in and involved regarding my daughter’s dating life.
For the record, this mom has met my daughter’s teen boyfriend, and she backs my daughter up on the quality of this young man. So that’s not the issue. The mom simply won’t let her own teenage daughter go on dates with a boy until the mom has met him. She wants to see for herself who her daughter is spending time and getting close with.
On first blush, this makes sense. A parent should care what company their teen keeps. My parents certainly knew the family of the girl I was dating as a teen. So I have no problem with the neighborhood mom’s choice regarding her own daughter.
But looking closer, I’m not so sure my choice is that bad, either.
Mainly because when I have dated, I didn’t have my daughter meet my girlfriend until enough time had passed that I felt things were serious enough to involve them. To this day, my daughter has met two women I’ve dated, and a few more close female friends. Each time, I waited a few months before introducing these women to my daughter.
In other words, my daughter is doing the exact same thing in terms of me meeting her teenage boyfriend that I did with her meeting my adult girlfriends.
I trust my daughter’s judgment. Plus, teens her age tend to date in groups. They hang out together, usually at one parent’s house with a parent home. Just not my house right now. I know at some point I’ll meet my daughter’s boyfriend, hopefully before they’re done being teens.
Can’t wait for my Meet the Fockers moment.
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