Diversity

I am a diverse Motherf*****

I was tweeting the other day with my friend Tara about dating and I (for some reason) said that I was a “diverse motherfucker”. Tara replied back immediately and said that I should “use the term the ‘Renaissance Man’ on your online profile. You never know who/what you’ll attract with ‘diverse motherfucker’.”
I appreciated her concern and this got me thinking about myself. I am diverse. I’m also hip, cool, rad, eclectic, horny and occasionally even sane. I’m just me. Love me for who I am or kiss my ass. It’s your call. If you’re hot, female and single I would love it if you were to kiss my ass, but that’s a whole different blog post for a different time.
Why do I consider myself diverse? I have all kinds of interests and various personalities that come out at different (and occasionally inappropriate) times. I am a dude, but still can be a gentleman. I can throw down shots with the boys on a Saturday night as we talk about scoring with chicks (or our lack of game) and I know how to handle myself in church.
I like vanilla AND chocolate. Strawberry too. There’s not much better at 2 AM than a bowl of old school Cap’n. Crunch Peanut Butter cereal. A hot fudge sundae is off the hook, but hot fudge sundae Pop-Tarts are weak. Have I ever tried one? Shit no! How do I know hot fudge sundae Pop-Tarts are weak? I just do. There are some things that a guy just knows.
I like women (and occasionally women like me) and I am in no way gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and I am not at all ashamed to admit that I occasionally enjoy spending a quiet evening alone on the couch sucking down (down. Not off.) Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo or Ron Bacardi.
I dig all kinds of music. Looking at my Top 25 Most Played list on my iPod I have Foo Fighters, Linkin Park, Sublime, No Doubt, Muse, Dropkick Murphys, Michael Buble, Daughtry, Black Eyed peas, Dee-Lite, Reel Big Fish, Brian Setzer Orchestra, Dean Martin and Disturbed. What I listen to depends on my mood.
I’m not big on rap, but I’ll kick on some Snoop from time to time. Why Snoop? That’s easy cuz—me & Snoop are just a couple of gangstas. I’m not a big fan of country music, but if you threw me on a tour bus with Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, Shania Twain (vintage Shania, not recent Shania) or Miranda Lambert, I would do my best to try and seal the deal.
I love surfing and skiing. Back in the day we used to go surfing at the Huntington Beach cliffs in the morning, come home, shower and head up to Big Bear for some night skiing. Oh to be young again and think I was cool…
The last almost 20 years I’ve been a dad first and foremost. I’m a way cool dad, but I know how to drop the hammer when I need to, I know how to drop the hammer when I’m dating, but once again, that is a different blog post for a different day.
As we come to a close boys and girls I would like to leave you with another tweet from Tara. “You do deserve a hottie, and one who will love and embrace you for the incorrigible middle-aged man you are.” What does this have to do with the rest of the blog post? Nothing really. I just like reading it and am thinking about making it my personal mantra. Your thoughts???

Dating Advice from a Dad to His Daughter

As a single dad on the dating scene, I can totally relate to my daughter as she dates. The butterfly feelings of meeting someone new, the nerves that come with letting that person know you're interested, the anxiety of wondering if they'll return the love/like/lust, the sheer pleasure in holding hands, kissing, and spooning (er, that last part is for me, not my daughter. Yet!) No matter the age, romantic relations can be equal parts madness and bliss.
I already blogged about how dating for single parents is tougher than a high school crush. But in some ways, it's also easier.
And so, I wanted to write an open letter of advice to my daughter, to get us on the same dating-wise page.
Dear Pumpkin...

You've reached an age where you are starting to explore the pleasures of spending intimate time with members of the opposite sex. I know you'll steal moments with a dating crush, then not tell me about it. That's okay. I used to tell my parents I was going bowling, then make out with my girlfriend for hours on end. (Now that I'm a parent, I realize my own parents probably weren't as dumb as I made them out to be when I was a teen!)
Tip #1: Don't fall in love with a teacher. It never leads to anything good. I had classmates in high school get involved with teachers. I had friends in college sleep with professors. None of those relationships lasted, and they caused a ton of other problems for all parties involved. (Older men younger women dating relationships can be awkward for a tight-knit community like a school.) Just remember to keep your eyes fixed on other students, and leave it to me, the single dad, to be hot for teacher when appropriate. (Haha. If any readers are getting bent out of shape by that cheeky remark, go fix a cocktail and down it before reading more!)
Tip #2: Don't send dirty text messages to crushes, or anyone you're dating. Trust me, at your age, stuff like that has a tendency to end up on social networking sites, right when a college admissions counselor is reviewing your application. Feel free to send as many dirty text message jokes as you like - from a friend's phone! (Haha. Not really. My daughter has had friends misuse her phone, and it's no phone for a parent to deal with the repercussions later. Ready yet for another cocktail?)
Tip #3: Learn how to cook. I know, I know - cooking is boring. At least that's what you think now. There are reasons why I cook - it grounds me in the present moment, and makes me happy knowing I'm creating a healthy meal from scratch. All more than you care to fathom right now. Just know if you can grill asparagus for a date, you'll likely get your date all hot and bothered. (Just don't tell me about the hot and bothered part!)
Tip #4: Don't go to parties! Okay, I'm being paranoid. But I do know that bad things can happen when young people drink. That said, once you're in college, feel free to attend as many toga parties as humanly possible, drink as much beer as you can without destroying your GPA, learn a killer margarita recipe, and generally do as many crazy things as possible (keeping in mind the social network angle - future employers might find out!) Maybe skip parties where they expect you to be nude in chains, in a cage. (Nude yoga? Er... just don't tell me about it.) Other than that, knock yourself out!
Tip #5: If you fall in love, get married, have children, then drift apart and get divorced - know that it's not the end of the world. Divorce is hard, no doubt, and I'm not necessarily recommending that approach. But if it happens, deal with it. Dating after divorce is possible. (See tips #1, #2, and #3 above.)
I hope you find the love of your life, but more importantly - I hope you learn to give love without condition. There's no greater bliss.
Love, Dad