Fall To Pieces

I keep a journal of memories
I’m feeling lonely, I can’t breathe
Velvet Revolver

Every once in a while someone comes into your life seemingly by accident, yet later on you come to realize that it was no accident. I have someone like that in my life. My Muse has helped me through a lot of tough stuff this past year and I can honestly say she has helped me somehow retain the small bit of sanity I have left.
I wasn’t going to do a Valentines post, but as I crawled into bed at 9:30 on February 13, I donned my headphones and pushed “Shuffle” on my Dope Tunes playlist. This was the first song to play and suddenly I knew I wasn’t going to bed because this was what I wanted to write about.
I can’t tell you how many times in the past 12 months I’ve felt like I’m falling to pieces, but I can tell you that every single time she has been there to either help me up or to offer me the encouragement to help myself. I’ve had a rough five years and I will be the first to admit that I can be a real tool at times; but when there’s someone (metaphorically) standing beside you with encouragement, it makes falling to pieces a whole lot easier to handle.
Look at the lyrics below, watch the video and be assured that when I say I feel like I fall to pieces, I don’t mean in a night club bathroom from a heroin OD. (I leave that to lead singer Scott Weiland.) My Muse has seen me at my worst and I’m looking forward to her being around to see me at my best. Fingers crossed.
It’s tough to keep something going when two people are separated by almost 3,000 miles, but somehow we’ve managed it. My message in this post is simple and its directed to my Muse. Thank you. You have no idea how much you mean to me.
It’s been a long year
Since you’ve been gone
I’ve been alone here
I’ve grown old
I fall to pieces, I’m falling
Fell to pieces and I’m still falling
Every time I’m falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
I keep a journal of memories
I’m feeling lonely, I can’t breathe
I fall to pieces, I’m falling
Fell to pieces and I’m still falling
All the years I’ve tried
With more to go
Will the memories die
I’m waiting
Will I find you
Can I find you
We’re falling down
I’m falling
Every time I’m falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
Every time I’m falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
Every time I’m falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
Every time I’m falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

                                  

The Muse on Valentine’s Day

  Go ahead, make everyday Valentine’s Day.


A couple weeks ago I was chatting with The Muse and she (out of the blue) mentioned her feelings on Valentines Day. I paused for a moment to make sure I heard what I thought I heard and asked her to repeat herself. I heard her right the first time. I was intrigued by her viewpoint and asked her to write a guest post for me. Here it is. The Muse’s views on Valentine’s Day. Enjoy.

Valentine’s Day- Is it a real holiday? I think not. Over the years, the notion of spending a ton of money one day every year in the order to shower your significant other with love has been blown completely out of proportion. Personally, I put a boycott on the so-called holiday years ago. I mean, why should some card company and ridiculously overpriced flower shop tell me when I should tell my significant other I love them?
If they aren’t bad enough, the commercials for jewelry stores are so sickeningly sweet they should come with a warning beforehand stating “Caution: May induce vomiting”. One in particular strikes me as completely moronic.
Two lovers in a cabin, watching a storm out the window at night. Lightning strikes and she leaps into his arms like she just spotted Michael Myers standing on the other side of the glass. But! Don’t fear frightened Princess! This diamond ring will make the lightning go away! Seriously??
We are losing sight here, people! If you love someone and it’s Tuesday, July 7th, don’t be afraid to buy them a card, write them a love letter, or give them flowers for no reason other than you love them. You shouldn’t feel obligated to purchase overpriced roses for the woman/man you love simply because it is mid-February.
If you are truly in love with someone, don’t you think about little ways you can express that love every day? A good morning kiss, a call during the day just to say hello. I would much prefer a small daily reminder of the fact that someone loves me. What I don’t want is someone to feel obligated to buy me flowers or a heart-shaped pendent because some marketing machine told them that was what is expected of them.
They say diamonds are forever and, well, they sure as Hell better be for as much as they cost! But, and here’s where you’ll probably thinking “This woman is out of her freaking mind!” I tend to boycott diamonds as well as odd holidays. But, it’s for good reason. Most diamonds are from South Africa and it is extremely hard to prove how the diamond was obtained from the mines and from whom.
There are so many corrupt “businessmen” who hire young men and children to go out into the mines, enslave them, even kill them over the tiniest gem. It isn’t worth it. I don’t want to look down at my hand and think “I wonder if some child lost his life so I could wear this?”
Needless to say, I don’t ever expect anyone to go all out for me on Valentine’s Day. What I DO want is, if you love me, show me. Everyday. The little notions of love are so wonderful, especially when they are completely from the heart and not from the wallet. A quick call to ask how my day is or a text that says “I Miss You”, would be enough. Wouldn’t you feel amazing every single day if someone just gave a couple of minutes to make sure you know they care?
So, this Valentine’s Day, I urge you to give this gift to the one you love…it doesn’t cost a thing: Tell them how much you love them, how your life has improved with them in it, how you would not want to go another day without making sure they know how you really feel. Then, vow to yourself that you will take a couple of moments everyday to show them you love them. Make them feel good, loved, and appreciated, and I’m quite sure they will return the gesture. Go ahead, make everyday Valentine’s Day.
Now, if you don’t mind, will you please pass me a few of those Conversation Hearts? Those things are addictive!
Muse