A Realistic View of the Effect of Diabetes

I found out I had diabetes in 1999. I was having chest pains and had a procedure done. Through all the tests, they found the diabetes. It wasn't easy at first, changing my lifestyle, food and way of thinking; my blood sugars (glucose) are always high. I found I needed to talk with someone who has diabetes also, to share my concerns, and listen to me and to hear what they had to say. I don't think people who are not diabetic understand a lot of what we feel and go through. I am going through depression right now, I have high blood pressure, so it is not just the diabetes I'm dealing with. I know people don't like reading stories where things are not all rosy, but the truth is, diabetes isn't rosy.We are in a fight for our lives, to keep our sight, our limbs and our hearts healthy and watch our carb intake, and keep our blood sugar down, it's a daily fight, but I am ready and willing to keep up  the good fight--to do what it takes to make a good life.                                                                             

Diabetes is not a death sentence

Having had type 1 diabetes for most of my life has caused me to have moments of self pity and depression and days where I just wished I were "normal.” On the days when I am down on myself I rely on my personal faith and realize that I have a very livable chronic disease, which has seen many advances in the last 10-20 years. It is not a death sentence. I have lived with the disease for over 30 years now and enjoy a full and enjoyable life. But I have never let diabetes stop me from doing anything. Yes, you may have to make some adjustments to your lifestyle but there is no reason to ever say "no" to do anything you want to do in life. It's just a way of life and not a bad one at that.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

Losing Control

Several years into this thing, I think I am officially experiencing diabetes burnout — in the form of food rebellion, that is.  My numbers have been crap, and I am feeling disgusted with myself. Sound familiar, anyone?
Actually, it was Kelly K’s ‘food quirks’ post over at Diabetesalicousness that got me thinking, I ought to clear my conscience by airing the bold truth about what’s going on with me: I feel like I’m officially ‘losing it’ (and I don’t mean weight).
Unlike Kelly, who was diagnosed as a child and feels grateful for the freedom and flexibility that carb-counting has brought to her life, I feel enslaved by it. I noticed that gradually, over this year’s Holiday Season in particular, I’ve started throwing caution to the wind more and more often and indulging in carb-heavy foods I’ve rarely touched in the years since my diagnosis: crackers, granola, muffins, rice chips, tortilla chips, potato chips and various forms of rice. These items taste GOOD, and I missed them terribly! Do note that in my case, everything now has to be the special gluten-free variety, and having to deal with this incredibly fussy wheat allergy just makes me feel that much more entitled to eat something truly yummy now and then.
I am SO TIRED of watching people around me enjoy pancakes, cupcakes, French Fries, pasta — even something as supposedly healthful as crab cakes, which I can never order in restaurant as they are always doused in flour.  When is it my turn to enjoy yummy foods again? When I’m dead?
But on the flip side, I hate the payoff of enjoying these items: extra pounds (tighter pants) and glucose levels often well over 200. SHIT! It’s my own fault. I feel guilty and angry and unimaginably frustrated, but also somehow unable to stop myself, at least for the time being.
Add to the extra carb-punch the fact that I had a bad cold a few weeks ago, and developed an ear infection. They had me on antibiotics for 2 weeks. So you see, when diabetes things go wrong, they go wrong BIG. It’s Murphy's Law. Running really high today? Let’s take a wild-ass guess: it could be the infection, the antibiotic meds, that pack of chips you probably carb-counted wrong, or maybe even the fact that your throat’s getting sore today so there may be a cold coming on.
It’s a big fat guessing game, and I am tired of it. I suppose my current attitude is simply: Why try? I know that’s not sustainable; I’m struggling to ‘get it together’ again.  I hope y’all don’t mind my venting, but I figured it might do somebody some good out there to know that we PWDs (PEOPLE WITH DIABETES) are all riding the same roller coaster. {insert rebel yell!}

Struggle for the System

I want to be healthy. I want to live as long as I can. I want to be complication free. I want to not have diabetes.

3 of those 4 statements above I can actually do something about. I can watch what I eat, exercise, and check my blood sugar all the time. I cannot cure myself but if I can take care of the other three then I would be doing pretty good in my book.

Here is the problem. Checking my blood sugar 8-10 times a day only gives me snapshots of what my blood sugar is doing at the moment. If my blood sugar is 130 now, what is 80 an hour ago or 300? Having that kind of knowledge would eliminate many hypoglycemic episodes and hyper ones too.

We can all agree that keeping my BG in control is the best thing I can do for my d-life. The more in control I am, the better my chances to stay complication free. That should be the goal for all people with diabetes. My question is, what do our insurance companies think our goal should be? To not spend a lot of money? Should our goal be to lose our eyesight and let them replace our kidneys if need be?

Continuous Glucose monitoring systems are a reality now. Sure it is not entirely accurate but it does show trends and that information is something we have NEVER had. Knowing where I was and where I am going is important and allows me to be proactive and not reactive.

But that makes me wonder what insurance companies expect from us. Would they rather react when we have a major complication or be proactive in doing all they can to avoid it?

I, along with many others, have been denied by insurance to cover CGMS(Continuous Glucose Monitoring Systems). I will continue to fight for my right to know what is going on in my body. Hopefully if all of our voices are heard we can get the insurance companies to understand and to cover it for us.

Have you tried to get CGMS covered by your insurance? Did it work?