Parenting is a Contact Sport

When it comes to raising kids, I’m like a lot of parents in that I sort of go with my gut. I try to give my daughter sound guidance and wisdom, without being too controlling or annoying.
Of course, I make mistakes, and I could benefit from reading some parenting books. But usually those books have steps and rules and methods and blah blah blah… who can remember all that in a crisis? Especially when something major goes down and I’m prone to overreact.
Let me tell you, there’s a new book out that boils everything down to one concept:

Parenting is a Contact Sport.

Simple! And so important, it’s also the title of the book: Parenting Is a Contact Sport: 8 Ways to Stay Connected to Your Kids for Life, by Joanne Stern, PhD. Every parent should read it.
Joanne Stern is a parent of two now-grown daughters. She was a single parent for five years, after her divorce and before remarriage. She built her family around the concept that the intimate relationship she had with her daughters should be the very foundation of their family life.This relationship was built on trust and respect, and was more important than whether or not her daughters got good grades, or made it home by curfew. Kids will always have trouble with something. The important thing is whether they feel comfortable enough to talk with their parents about it.
Yeah, right. What kid talks to their parent?
A lot of kids would, if they felt it was safe. Meaning, if they knew they could share their fears and mistakes without their parent getting angry, without their parent screaming at them or making them feel guilty, without their parent judging them harshly. No one wants negativity raining down, especially from a parent.
Joanne Stern figured the best way to foster such a relationship is with intimate contact.

• Showing up for events so your kid knows they are important and valued.
• Being an active listener and taking an interest in their life.
• Giving praise to build self esteem, and letting them know they belong.
• Respecting your kids by being honest with them, so they’ll respect and be honest with you.

Parenting is a Contact Sport isn’t some preachy psychology manual. Instead, it’s filled with anecdotes involving Joanne Stern and her daughters in real life situations, as well as stories from Joanne Stern’s therapy practice. The book shares good times as well as mistakes, reminding us that we don’t have to be perfect parents.
The important thing is to always put the relationship first. Do things that nurture the relationship, not tear it apart. (Your gut is probably telling you this concept is good. Mine sure did.)
Parenting is a Contact Sport can teach you to communicate openly with your child, to help your child learn from their experiences, to increase your influence so your kids use good judgment even when you’re not there.
All from the simple concept that good parenting involves contact.
Honor, value, and nurture the relationship you have with your kids – and they might just do the same for you