Magnificent Moms–Vodka Mom

It was his BALL!! It got all big and purple!







Shortly after I began churning out this drivel in December of 2009, I ran across a blog titled, Vodka Mom. Any blog with booze in it’s name has to be worth checking out, so I did. And I laughed. Kind of hard. And then I started following her.
The recently divorced kindergarten teacher is a BlogHer regular. and she runs frequent posts at Vodka Mom. She blogs in between the grueling task of grading finger paintings and paper bag puppets. She’s a well respected Mom Blogger, having made the Babble Top 50.
Vodka Mom answered a few of my random questions and I think her answers gives insight to who Vodka Mom really is. When you’re done, please click on the VODKA MOM link at the bottom of the post. She’s worth your time. I’ll vouch for her.

Not that I give a shit about labels, but you’ve recently gone from Mom Blogger to Single Mom Blogger. That’s gotta be difficult. Was it?
It was one the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. (And I’ve done some pretty hard stuff.) I finally realized that I am the only one who is responsible for my own happiness. I want my kids to know that each person deserves respect, honesty and affection. It’s up to each of us to make sure that this is what we get.
I am doing this for them, but more importantly for me. I’m worth it.

In all your years teaching Kindergarten, you have to have some bitchin stories. Give me the Top Three.

Top THREE? Oh my Lord, I don’t even know where to begin. The ones I remember most? I’ll give it a shot.
• The first year I was teaching kindergarten I was giving a phonics test to each child to determine where they “were” in terms of ability. I pulled them aside one at a time. I pointed to pictures and asked Jack to tell me what they were. He looked at the third one and said,
“What the HELL is that?”
He looked at me- and I looked at him.
“Did you say what I thought you said?” I asked.
“Yep.” He nodded.
Well then. How about you don’t say that in school. Okay? Okay.
Next picture.
• That next month (still my first year in kindergarten) I had ALL four classes sitting ready for a movie. One of my little girls raised her hand an I SHUSHED the WHOLE GROUP to get them quiet for her question. She mumbled something, and I couldn’t hear her. I made her stand up and repeat it. She screamed, “My VAGINA IS RED AND ITCHY!”
“Um. Okay. Well, alrighty, go to the nurse then. “
3. (And one of my all time fav.’s.) Shedaziah: “My brother’s eye is swollen and we don’t know why.”
Ryan: “ My brother was swollen one time in his private parts (pointing to his crotch). It was his BALL!! It got all big and purple! It looked like a big purple grape!
Me: Uh. Okay. Well. Sharing is over..
Do you have a legit fear that your kids will come into your room and kill you? Is it a cry for help or is it simple humor?
I think I’m done worrying about that. I’ve written just about ALL I CAN WRITE and they still love me. I don’t get it.
When did Vodka Mom hit the web and how did it start? [Please don’t say, “Well I was drinking a martini and… unless that’s how it really happened.]
I was writing a column for the local paper, this was about five years ago, when a mother of an old student of mine told me that she was a mommy blogger! She had been reading my column, loved it, explained blogging to me. I got online and started reading! I was hooked.
I had always written- mostly at night, or when the mood struck me. I have tons of envelopes, scraps of paper, and journals filled with thoughts and stories from over the years. She helped me start my blog, and I was given an amazing gift. I finally, FINALLY had somewhere to write about my thoughts, stories, anecdotes, fears and dreams. It filled a whole in my life that I didn’t even know existed- and I’ll forever be thankful to her!!
What has Vodka Mom got in the pipe. [Be warned that if you say, “crack” I will not only publish it, but send the link to every school in, uh, wherever you live. Just say no to drugs, yo.]
I am working furiously on “The Book of Frank.” I am sending to an agent friend of mine- and if he passes on it then I am going to self-publish and e-book! Oh, and I’m also doing this little, tiny thing called a JOB!!
Also, I am basically working on making it through EACH DAY alive. I pray for my children, and I also pray that one day I might find the love of my life.
If not, I am working on loving myself. That, to be sure, is my number one priority.

BONUS QUESTION:
Other than using the word “gotta” did I make any grammatical errors in my questions?
You are incredible. I am honored that you thought of me