Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Muse

Inspiration is cool.



I learned a few things in 2011. One of those things is that when I write about girls I’ve dated, am dating or even flirting with, people will either love it or hate it. There seems to be no middle ground.
I’m either The Woomaster or I’m the dude with the shitty mustache. You know the one. The guy in the old black and white flicks who would tie a chick up and put her on the train track. Yeah. Either I’m sweet and cute or I’m that dick.
That’s neither here nor there. That’s because this post isn’t about that. This post is about someone who inspires my writing and inspires me to be a better person. She’s my muse and she’s very off the hook.
I can’t remember when we cyber-met, but it revolved around something meaningless and trivial. We chatted a bit, traded a couple of funny stories and I got hit with an idea for a blog post.
I have no idea where she pulled the idea from, but she steered our conversation towards a new topic by saying, “I wonder if…” She said those three words and straight into a topic I had been thinking about for the blog, but wasn’t quite sure how to present it. When she started asking questions, I knew she had just given me the perfect way to go.
I told her this and she texted, “Thanks…(with a little blushed face next to it).” I was so inspired by this idea, that I sat down and banged out the blog post right away. It was really cool that we seemed to connect on a creative level.
There was no flirting, nor was there any real pressure for any. We continued to discuss our lives, what was happening on Twitter or what either of us was writing about. It was friendly and fun. I continued to get ideas for different things to write about for my different projects and it became a nice friendship.
The Muse knew I was going to be alone for the holidays this year and she made a point to check in a few times on Christmas Eve to see what was going on and she was the first person I had any interaction with on Christmas morning. Once again, the contact was initiated by her.
We chatted over the next few days and I noticed more than once how comfortable I felt talking with her about things and how much we seemed to have in common. I mentioned that she was turning into quite the muse.
She thanked me and I told her, “If you look half as good as Selma Hayek in Dogma, you’re going to really inspire someone very soon.” Throughout this friendship, I had no idea what she looked like.
She responded by sending me a picture and holy crap was she cute. I suddenly felt inspired in a slightly different fashion. Hell. Yeah.
Two days later I wrote a post and in it I explained that I was in the shower when I had the idea for the post. I hopped out of the shower to jot down the idea on paper and as I climbed back in, I grabbed my iPhone to tell her what the idea was. I threw her a couple names and asked if she had any suggestions for other related subject matter.
She replied, “Sadly no. You naked and wet is all I think about.” I laughed at her remark and returned to the shower. I tried to forget the comment, but somehow it had replaced the previous thought and it wouldn’t go away. I didn’t particularly want it to go away.
I was hearing her voice say it. In several different whispers. And with the inflection being delivered at different points. And with her eyes, uh, forget it….Back to the story.
I was thinking about her as I finished my shower, and I texted her again after I dried off. She answered my question of, “Really???” With, “Not all I think about.” But she had thought of it. Well, she inferred that she thought about it. Good enough for me.
The past 10 days or so, I’ve been very low key. My Dr told me I need to cut way down on stress and drama, so I did. I pulled away from several people because I needed to not feel so stressed and connected over things happening in their lives. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I have to chill.
I bring that up, because The Muse is the first person who noticed the unplugging and she checked in to see if anything was wrong. I mentioned to her what the doctor said, and she told me that I did need to relax. She’d noticed it too. She texted from time to time over the week or so before the shower comment, and I was always happy that she did.
Since the shower conversation, we’ve become a little flirtier with each other. Nothing crazy. Just playful and fun. As it should be.
I asked her if she felt she was picturing me realistically and she said she was. I asked because I wanted to know if I had lost my 30 20 pounds in her version. She giggled and said that I was very attractive with or without that extra weight.
Was I stoked to hear her say that? Duh. What dude doesn’t want a cute girl to say he’s appealing? I do. FYI…she can say that shit anytime.
Right now I’m feeling very relaxed and comfortable. I have a good friend who has the possibility of being something more. Beyond that, I’m gonna keep on having fun and if feelings develop further, I’ll continue to go with the flow and let things proceed as they should. Inspiration is cool.

Benjamin

P.S. Selma Hayek played a muse in the movie Dogma. That’s what the reference was about.

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