I’m a single dad, not a child molester

Let’s play a game.
Let’s say there’s a little girl we’ll call Brittany. Now Brittany is in the secound grade at a school she’s been attending since kindergarten. She’s outgoing and cute, dresses odd at times, can be very funny, is a tad bookwormish, and is most definitively a Taylor Swift fan.

Brittany meets and becomes fast friends with another little girl in her class named Mallory. They both like the TV show Good Luck Charlie and Tap Pet Shop on their iTouches, not to mention Mallory loves Taylor Swift to. They quickly become inseparable pals eating lunch together every day, playing during recess, and drawing pictures of one another under rainbow and butterfly filled skies.
One afternoon Mallory comes running home from school asking her mom and dad if she can have a sleepover at Brittany’s house this weekend. It seems Brittany recently got Just Dance 3 for the Wii and they plan on having a dance party late into the night.

The usual next step entails Brittany and Mallory’s mom talking on the phone or maybe meeting up for a quick ‘get-to-know’ and it’s party on. But if that was all it wouldn’t be much of a post. Well it isn’t all because there’s one small detail I left out. In this story you’re Mallory’s mom or dad and the sleepover she wants with Brittany, well, it’s going to be at my home – her unmarried, and single father.

If the quality of a parent is based on aptitude and performance I’ll be in the Mommy and Daddy Hall of Fame.

Now let me ask you this question. What is the very first thought going through your mind after realizing the place where your daughter is going to spend the night is a single dad’s house?
You don’t have to answer that because I already know. It’s something like this…
Not a chance in hell!
And here’s a secret, it would probably be the same for me.

Next month marks seven years since her mom and I broke up. That’s seven years of co-parenting on my own. That’s 2,555 days full of diaper changes, potty training episodes, nursing nosebleeds, performing tuck-ins, and reciting bedtime stories. I’ve doctored diaper rashes, attended parent/teacher conferences, and sat through a dozen God-awful elementary school musicals. I’ve read to classrooms, been a teacher’s helper, and ate $2.30 school lunches with a table of seven year olds. There are only two feats I’ve yet to check-off from the parenting manual – breast feeding and giving birth and that’s only because I don’t come with the necessary accessories.
If you’re going to judge a parent based upon his or her aptitude and performance, go ahead and induct me into the Mommy and Daddy Hall of Fame, right now.
So why is it when Mallory asked if she could have a sleepover at my house you looked at your spouse and thought “how are we going to get out of this?”

It’s one of the harshest realities I’ve ever faced as an man, and a father – since I don’t live with a woman I’m less of a parent. In the court of public opinion I’m a dad who’s guilty until proven innocent and even if I am acquitted I still need an ankle bracelet and must check in with my parole officer once a month. Because I failed to be married I’m no less inclined to fail as a parent.

Why, and this question is directed at me as much as anyone else, do I feel way more uneasy if my kids are in a home where the responsible parent isn’t a woman? Why do I believe it isn’t a good idea since there isn’t going to be a mom around and therefore I make up some lame lie excuse about why my kid can’t spend the night with her friend? Why do feel I need to ask around, run a complete background check, and ask for blood and urine samples because the dad isn’t married? And why would I be more relaxed if it were at moms?

The fact isn’t lost on me that my daughter has tons of sleepovers but none of them are at my home. In the last 2 years she has only had one friend spend the night and it was a neighbor who lived 200 yards away and her parents had me on speed dial. Sure, my daughter wants friends over but it never seems to materialize, as if by magic the other kids are always busy…until the next weekend she’s at her moms.

Why are single dads looked upon more critically than any another parent? While single moms are virtually sanctified to the level of Mother Theresa for their seemingly endless supply of self-sacrifice; single dads are expected to be self-centered, negligent, and unreliable – especially as a parent. It’s undeniable that a single father is first and foremost regarded as single. Because I’m not with a woman why is it assumed I must have the parenting skills of a green sea turtle? That I will invariably let my and your kids watch too much television, drink gallons of soda, and run with knives.

But let’s be completely honest. The actual reason there’s a problem, whether you want to admit it or not, is the idea of your daughter or son staying at my house fills your mind with dreadful images better left unsaid.

I could tell you that I, like most dads, just want the best for my kids and for them to have happy and joyful childhoods. I could also tell you that as a single dad I guarantee I work harder towards that than any married dad ever will. I could mention it offends me that you think your child would be any less safe and secure with me just because a woman isn’t under my roof. And I could bring up that if you actually got to know me you’d quickly realize I, and many other single dads like me, aren’t anything like the deadbeats you hear about in the media.
But chances are it wouldn’t do any good, so instead I’ll just leave you with this remainder

I’m a single dad not a child molester.

How many friends are enough?

How do you know when you have the right amount of friends? Well, to be honest, that’s something only you can decide. There isn’t a set number when it comes to happiness. What are you looking for in a social life? What do you want to do, what plans do you have? These are question you need to have an answer to to be comfortable in your social circle.



When you ask How do I get friends, what is it you are really asking? You’re asking how to be cooler, how to be liked more. Whatever circles you run in, everyone wants to be liked, wants approval. We understand that because we are no different. It’s human nature. That’s something you need to keep in mind.
You are never going to just sit back and say, I have enough friends. That is just limiting yourself. Some people are happy with 2 really good friends, some people need 100. It’s all up to the individual. We have to assume that because you are at this website, you want more friends! Well, we will be publishing quite a bit here in the upcoming weeks and months to help you out with that goal!

Chorizo con yummy stuff

As you can see I’m fluent in Spanglish, which is to say I’m not so fluent in Spanish.

My latest creation was also Tuesday morning’s breakfast. May I present my chicken chorizo omelette with homemade pico de gallo and homemade peach mango salsa. It tastes awesome and has less than 400 calories.

To me breakfast should be loaded with flavor. There’s nothing wrong with a muffin or oatmeal but I prefer something with a little kick. That’s probably why there’s almost always chicken chorizo in my fridge and fresh jalapenos on the counter.

I attended a couple barbecues over Memorial Day Weekend and brought homemade guacamole, pico de gallo and peach mango salsa to both. Tuesday morning I woke up and remembered that I had extra pico and salsa and decided to incorporate them into my breakfast.

I make the pico de gallo every couple of days because I use it to flavor a lot of things, like this omelette. When peaches, pineapple or mango are reasonably priced I tend to make salsa with that because it’s great flavor and still healthy.

Before we make the omelette, let’s assemble the pico do gallo and the salsa. You can make these right before you cook or you can make them and let them sit in the refrigerator for a while to let it marinate and get tastier.

When it comes to pico de gallo everyone likes it a little different so here’s what I suggest. Dice up as many tomatoes as you think you want and toss them into a bowl.

The other things I put in mine are diced jalapeno, garlic, red onion and either kosher salt or sea salt. If you like a lot of onion but no jalapeno, make it that way. The great thing about a dish like pico de gallo and salsa is that you can customize it however you want to.

I was supposed to make mango salsa this weekend but I couldn’t find enough mangos that were ripe when I needed them to be, so I “cut” it with yellow peaches I found on sale. Like the pico, dice as many peaches, mangos, pineapple or whatever fruit you want to use as a base and place in a bowl.

The other things I put in my mango peach salsa are cilantro, red onion, jalapeno, lime juice, kosher/sea salt and a touch of cayenne pepper. Add the ingredients as you see fit and when you get to the right combination, you’ll know it. When I make it I have probably 70% mango/fruit, 20% tomato and the remaining 10% is split between cilantro, onions and jalapeno.

Add a sprinkle or two of cayenne, a small amount of lime juice and stir. After that you sample small bites and have fun creating something that would make Guy Fieri say, “That’s totally money.”

Now that the salsa and pico are done, take some chicken chorizo and cook it in a pan or electric skillet. If I was being all fancy I would use a different pan to cook the eggs in so everything looked nice but I usually do it in one pan so there is one less thing to wash.

Chicken chorizo averages about thirty calories per ounce and I’m guessing my omelette had about three ounces or ninety calories. I also used three large eggs which average about seventy calories apiece or two hundred ten calories.

While the chorizo cooks dice up some red onion, jalapeno or whatever else you’d like in your omelette. I would typically put tomatoes in my omelette but since I had the pico made, I left them out.

Push the chorizo aside and let the veggies soak in the chorizo-y goodness that was left behind. Since this was chicken chorizo there won’t be much grease but whatever is left you can dispose of with a paper towel, turkey baster or however you get rid of things of this nature.

I grind some black pepper into the eggs, whip them with a fork and pour over the chorizo mixture. Once the eggs are cooked on the first side I flip them and get the plate ready. Like I said, it’s not the prettiest way to make breakfast but it’s pretty darn tasty.

After that I topped my creation with some pico de gallo (about twenty five calories for four ounces) and with my peach mango salsa (sixty calories per quarter cup).


Not a bad way to start your day, huh?